


A Vision of Love

by Maxir_Atora



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Cheating, Divorce, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Knight Anakin Skywalker, Love Confessions, M/M, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 05:48:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26348104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxir_Atora/pseuds/Maxir_Atora
Summary: The War begins to take its toll on Anakin and he's ready to give it all up for his own peace of mind but a vision drives him to seek out the man that changes his perspective on the life he lives. His relationship with Padme is teared apart after news of Anakin and his Secret on a recent mission made its way back to her. Will things work out for Anakin and Padme or will Anakin finally seek out the lover he has visions about?
Kudos: 5





	A Vision of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Super nervous posting this, it's taken me about a week just to write this first chapter (I'm such a slow writer, I also very rarely read books but I've been reading a lot of amazing SW FanFic recently) anyway I had this storyline idea in my head which made me really want to create my own FanFic and that's how I ended up with this haha.
> 
> I hope you like it :)
> 
> Warning: This Fic does Depict mild Suicidal thoughts so if you don't want to read anything like that then I suggest you don't read (it is mild in this chapter)

“Anakin? — Anakin are you there?” 

Obi Wan sighs with frustration, his thumb and index finger massaging the top of his forehead whilst the other holds his weight against the door frame. 

He waited five whole minutes for a response from Anakin. But nothing was received.

“Fine, have it your way.” The disappointment in his voice echoed in his ears “I will just have to make up yet another excuse to why you have missed another briefing with the Jedi Council — I will not be informing you of our objectives this time around Anakin.” He sweeps a hand through his soft coppery hair, straightens his thick white linen tunic and walks fast paced down the warmly lit halls of the Jedi Temple.

_______________

Anakin sat on the edge of his bed, elbows gripped into his knees and his hands wrapped around the back of his neck. He could still smell the lingering scent of Cedar-wood and Amber from Obi Wan seeping through the cracks of the door. He always appreciated the smell of Obi Wan, it reminded him of home. Not the desiccated planet he knows as Tatooine but the woody herbal teas his mother used to make him before bed. It comforted him deeply. 

He sighed drastically slumping backwards to reveal a stream of tears ushering down his face. His eyes bloodshot and swollen. Anakin couldn’t face Obi Wan like this let alone Master Yoda, Master Windu and the rest of the Jedi Council. 

“i can’t do this anymore, The War, The Separatists, why can’t it all just be simple? — I have no life other than fighting wars that is nothing to do with the Jedi Order. We’re supposed to keep peace in the galaxy and take no sides, why are we fighting someone else’s war”

He dwelled in the deafening silence of the metal plated room, the sleeve of his dark toned tunic was damp from the tears he wiped away.

He hissed Padme’s name and his eyes welled up immediately at the thought of his soon to be wife. 

”I never have time to see Padme anymore— to tell her it’s all been a lie, that it was just a distraction to escape from the reality of this kriffing war. She needs to know, I just don’t know how to tell her”. 

A few minutes went by and Anakin came to the realisation that he needs to man up. After all there was a galactic war going on. He wiped the remainder of his tears away with the sleeve of his now wet tunic and went to the small lavatory across the room to freshen up. Water splashed against his blushed olive skin when a loud thump rattled the door to his chambers. The sound of a heavy fist against bare durasteel echoed around the room. He knew exactly who it was.

“Anakin, what in the Sith Hells Is wrong with you? — will you PLEASE just open the door?

“Ahsoka I am fine, please — I will be there in a minute” but he wasn’t fine — his face was beet red and eyes still deluged from tears, he couldn’t let Ahsoka see him like this. 

“No — Anakin I want to make sure you’re ok — Master Kenobi informed me of your absence, it’s not like you to miss 3 daily briefings in a row” her voice grew louder with frustration. 

“it’s nothing —i’m fine honestly” he almost choked on the large lump that formed in his throat. The thought of lying to Ahsoka was tearing him apart from the inside out, but to save his humiliation he swallowed deeply and continued. “Just go the the Situation room, I’ll meet you there”.

Ahsoka could feel the coldness of his voice through their bond, she respected his orders to leave him and turned on her heal heading in the direction of the East tower to the Situation rooms where Masters Obi Wan, Mace and Yoda were patiently waiting for her return with Anakin. 

She stopped for a brief moment in the decadent halls of the temple, lit by the evening sun hanging over the coruscant skyline of tremendous offices and penthouses. The beige walls connected seamlessly with the arches above and a rich burgundy carpet ran the length of the halls, all tied together with four magnificent gold plated chandeliers hanging directly in the centre of the hall — looking over her shoulder she frowned in thought. Anakin has never been this distant from the Jedi Order, ever since the war began he’s been spiralling — losing focus and making too many mistakes in combat and relief missions — it seemed to have gotten worse in the past few rotations but she realised it was best to let Obi Wan deal with this, he is much wiser and older than Ahsoka, he’ll know what’s best for Anakin — she could merely offer support for her master.

Her daze ended and panic started to linger, she had noticed that she had been gone too long trying to retrieve Anakin. Not that Obi Wan or Yoda would mind but instead she feared Mace Windu’s exasperated posture with a look on his face that would be impossible to look at for longer than 5 seconds. 

After what seemed like an eternity frantically pacing through the same stylish halls, Ahsoka finally had the entrance to The East tower Situation room in sight, she contained herself and brushed down her clothes trying to get any dust or lint off just so Master Windu didn’t have another critical remark to say along with her bad time keeping. She pushed the white illuminated button on the side of the door frame and the door slid open revealing 3 figures all standing in-front of a Holotable emitting a blue hue across the circular room. Master Windu was stood so that he was facing Ahsoka — eyes beaming at her as she briskly made her way down the steps to the holotable. Obi Wan was stood back to her still holding a conversation with Master Yoda — Something about one of the Star Destroyers technical issue and how it could be a separatists plot to infiltrate the destroyers to hack data files but she stopped listening when things got technical and it seemed Master Yoda did too. 

Yoda looked past Obi Wans leg with a hopeful expression “Ah with you he is not, young Padawan?” 

“I’m afraid not Master, but he did say he was to meet us here — I’m just not sure when” Ahsoka eyed each one of the Jedi Masters waiting for a response. 

But before any one of the Masters could return a response, the large durasteel doors opened revealing Anakin standing, back straight trying to hide any evidence that he was on the brink of a mental and emotional breakdown. The evening sunlight drenched the back of him whilst the blue hue of the holotable turned his skin a light aqua tone that defined his scar Ventress so kindly gave him. 

“Please do excuse my absence Masters — I” 

“Save the excuses, Skywalker” 

Windu gave Anakin a cold stare as he was making his way over to the holotable next to Ahsoka and Obi Wan avoiding eye contact with the both of them the whole way there. 

“y—yes, sorry” 

Obi Wan gave Ahsoka a look of concern over Anakin but is just as confused and shrugs it off. It’s not like Anakin to not make Windu’s day a little bit more harder by giving a sort of sarcastic or slightly insulting response. 

“Now that everybody’s here I would like to finally get this relief mission on its way” he paused for a response or the usual interruption from Anakin — but nothing, so he continued.

“The Separatists have formed a blockade around Ryloth, stopping all trade to and from the planet” 

The holotable threw a hologram of Ryloth in the air with a Separatist blockade depicted as arrows pointing to the exit of a nearby Hyperlane. 

“There’s no possible way of us getting through that blockade unnoticed, our—“

“Can we not pose as transporters, it’d be an in and out job without being unnoticed?” Ahsoka interrupted.

“Like Master Windu said young padawan, the Separatists have ceased all trade to and from the planet to force the people of Ryloth to join the Separatist Alliance. We would be ordered to turn around before we even reached the blockade — There is no way we can deliver these supplies unnoticed” Obi Wan’s arms were folded as he informed Ahsoka. Master Windu ignored the interruption and continued the briefing in a louder, direct tone.

“As I was just about to say, our best bet would be to fight our way through, destroy the blockade and relieve Ryloth from the current Separatist occupancy”. 

“Right Master Windu is, no more than 3 rotations the people of Ryloth will last — for the best it is” 

“I agree —“ Anakin’s voice rose above the humming of the holotable “The people on Ryloth need our help, we can’t just leave them to be forced into slaves of the Separatists.

“For once I agree with you” Windu seethed at the thought of agreeing with Anakin.

“Although I would much like to have taken a less destructive plan of action — this seems to be the only way to successfully deliver the supplies to Ryloth” Obi wan stroked his soft coppery beard anxiously.

“Ugh, it looks like I have no choice — my opinions are useless here” Ahsoka rolled her eyes and leaned forward so that both her hands was on the edge of the holotable supporting her upper body.

“Good — Ahsoka you will take a transporter with Captain Rex to deliver the supplies to a nearby village called Drua”. Master Windu directed a finger at a drop off point on a layout of a small village that now hovered above the holotable. “The village is close to the capital and is the main trading hub for other neighbouring villages. Anakin will clear a path for your descent after the blockade has been destroyed.” 

“Who’s to say we will destroy the blockade?” Anakin arched an eyebrow and looked at Master Windu across the room.

Obi Wan Butted in “We Will, I’ll be leading the Star Destroyers along with Admiral Yularen — we will do everything in our power to get these supplies on that planet”.

Anakin beamed at Obi Wan hoping he was right but as much as he covertly wanted something tragic to happen to him, he couldn't face losing Obi Wan and Ahsoka for some relief mission. The aroma of Cedar-wood and Amber was intense this time, it made him realise that he could not lose the only father figure he’s ever had in his life because that would mean he would never get to smell Obi Wan again, that he would eventually forget what home smelled like. 

“That’s final then” Master Windu breathed after the few moments of awkward silence. “I take it you all have your coms? I will alert you as soon as the Star Destroyers are ready for departure.”

“If that’s all Master — I must prepare Captain Rex and the 501st for this mission, would you excuse me?” 

A simple nod of approval from Master Windu sent him on his way. He reached the large durasteel doors looming over the circular room when Obi Wan with his arms still crossed called out his name.

“Anakin, Take Ahsoka with you it’s best she has hands on experience preparing the troops”.

Anakin looked down at Obi Wan then shifted his eyes to Ahsoka who also had her arms crossed and was putting all her weight on one leg. She displayed a mischievous smirk across her face.

“Yes Anakin, you can tell me what the hell is going on in that head of yours”.

By this point Master Windu and Master Yoda had already left the room leaving just Obi Wan, Ahsoka and Anakin. The harsh blue hue from the holotable had now disappeared leaving a warm glow from the sumptuous sconces on the wall on their faces.

He paused in thought and stood looking between Obi Wan and Ahsoka trying his very best to come up with an excuse to not take Ahsoka with him — After all he wasn’t actually going to brief Captain Rex and the 501st of the mission to Ryloth, but was going to visit Padme in her penthouse a fair distance away to finally talk about him and her — Ahsoka can’t know, not yet. It would break her to know that her Master is on the brink — The brink of self destruction — to give it all up just to be at peace.

“Fine, but please snips don’t ask any questions” he laughed and offered her a half smile. 

The same warm glow that flowed around the situation room now filled the grand halls of the Jedi temple as night fell on coruscant. The gentle aroma of burning Myrrh and musk scented incense eased its way through air and Anakin who was marching a few steps ahead of Ahsoka in his fitted leather tunic and dark cloak trailed a scent of Sandalwood with a hint of Lavender behind him

“Since when did you start wearing essence?” Ahsoka said sarcastically.

“Why — does it bother you” Anakin turned his head slightly so that Ahsoka was in his far peripheral vision.

“No not at all — it’s just a little strong don’t you think? Are you trying to impress someone, or have you finally come to your senses that you actually smell, like really bad?” Ahsoka laughed jokingly.

But Anakin wasn’t amused, instead he stopped dead in the middle of the hall and faced Ahsoka the seriousness on his face was enough to make his young Padawan fearful. He realised he let her light hearted humour get to him and so he softened his face and reached through the bond to apologise.

“Snips, please — not today” he paused and sighed deeply “I’ve had a change of plan, I need you to brief Rex on our mission — you must inform him of everything that was said in the briefing. Please tell me you can do that”

“Of course Master. But W-why can’t you do it?” She stopped to scan Anakin's face for an explanation “Where are you going? You can’t just leave.”

“I’m not leaving Snips” His eyebrows arched with guilt “i have to visit someone before we go, it’s best you don’t know anything for now, I promise I’ll be back before sunrise. If you need anything just com me”.

“Ok Master — but at least tell me where you are going? What if something’s wrong, how am I supposed to find you?” 

An innocent yet concerned look grew on her face. Anakin smiled down at her with his deep blue eyes glistening under the hue of the lights, appreciating the warmth of her concern that smothered his heart. 

“There’s nothing to worry about Ahsoka, I am just visiting a friend that’s all — Now, you must go, Rex needs to be informed of the mission before we depart.”

With a quick nod and a gentle smile, Ahsoka turned on her heel and headed in the opposite direction to Anakin. He stood and waited, embracing the last visible shot of Ahsoka before she disappeared around the corner. 

_______________________

The constant hum of transporters and cruisers filled the night air and the towering skyscrapers of Coruscant grew closer and closer as Anakin approached the centre of the city in his muted gold speeder. It was peaceful up here, not an ounce of treacherous war insight — how he wished it had always been like this. Padme’s penthouse came into sight — An extravagant glass cylindrical building towering higher than its surrounding neighbours lit up. A landing pad erected off the side lead into an opening that housed a sunken circular sofa exposing the living space to the open air views of Coruscant and a dining area that branched off to the side with tall glass windows offering a 180 degree view of the skyline.

He hit the brakes on his speeder and descended by the edge of the landing pad leaping out onto the platform a few mere inches from his speeder. Anakin didn’t expect a welcome committee but he half expected there to be at least an on duty guard to intercept him. Something seemed off —clutching his lightsaber at the side of him he walked cautiously up the stairs to the opening where the circular sofa’s were situated. A soft glow reached from one of the far corners of the room — he followed the light which eventually lead him to Padme, curled up in one of the pod shaped armchairs asleep. She wore a deep navy silk gown with shimmering silver embroidery running up the sides, her soft hazelnut coloured hair was flowing down the left side of her body and messy and untouched— Something Anakin rarely seen as they never usually had any time for intimacy with the war and senate meetings. 

He sighed with relief and relaxed his shoulders releasing his lightsaber from his grip. Kneeling down beside her, he gently cuffed his finger through her hair and tucked it behind her ear. 

“Padme?” He whispered “Padme, please wake up”

Her eyes widened and squinted at the bright lamp above her.

“Anakin? — Ani w—what are you doing here? — What’s happened? — Is everything ok?” She put a hand to her head as a worrying expression blossomed on her face.

“Yes everything’s ok Padme. I—i’ve come to see you that is all. We need to talk” he threw an apologetic look across to her.

“Of course Ani — But couldn’t this have Waited till tomorrow at least? It’s very late.”

“That’s the thing Padme, there’s not much time — We’re leaving for a relief mission on Ryloth in a few hours. I couldn’t live with myself if something happens and I didn’t say goodbye.” 

Stay the night Ani, wait for your orders here, that way we can still be together until the moment you leave — but I must sleep, myself and Senator Organa must fight the opposition of the Republic Military Enhancement Bill in the senate tomorrow, I must be well rested.” She took a hand and moulded it to the curve of his cheek.

“Of course Padme” a disappointed smile raised the corners of his mouth.

“Now then, let us go to bed?” 

She stood gracefully and took Anakin’s hand in her own, her navy silk gown flowing behind her as she lead him to the bedroom. This was new for Anakin, he had never lay in the same bed with another woman before let alone Padme — He was feeling exhausted now, the sleepless nights finally catching up with him as he trudged behind his ‘Fiancé’ to the bedroom. Anakin watched Padme Slip under the covers and drifted off into another deep sleep. He himself was drifting away but managed to dozily throw his tunic off before he slumped on the opposite side of the soft linen bedsheet and lay down on his back looking up at the circular ceiling. 

“How do I tell her now? I had one chance to tell her everything there and then but I was too afraid to do it — I am not the man Padme thinks I am — I am not the Jedi Obi Wan thinks I am — I am not the Master my Padawan thinks I am. it would be easier to just disappear without a trace, it would be so much easier to not face the truth”. 

A single tear rolled down the side of his temple to his ear as he submerged himself in his own thoughts, the dark room fading away into a dark abyss — he was resting at last.

________________

Anakins eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the gentle glow of embers burning away in a durasteel fire pit across the room. The warm scent of tobacco and cherry filled the air as he lay on a bed covered with fur sheets — He wasn’t in Padme’s penthouse anymore, instead he was surrounded by rock that was intricately carved out of the side of a cliff face where a single glass window stretched the length of the room. Dawn could be seen lingering on the horizon as the sun started to rise above the green fir trees. 

He sunk his head back into the soft linen pillow and rested his eyes taking in the serenity of this mysterious place he had woken up in. That was until he heard a deep, manly groan and the bed shift beside him —he turned his head slowly to the side where a man, a very attractive man lay bearing his slightly hairy chest. Anakin couldn’t help but admire his beauty, his messy brown hair that was short at the sides and slightly longer on top, his stubbly beard that brushed the side of his pillow and his hand that he had now just noticed was lay on Anakins abdomen. He couldn’t help but stare at him — why did he feel happy? — Why did he feel like he had found the piece of him that had been missing for so long?

But before he could answer his own internal thoughts, a croaky voice exhaled from the mans mouth.

“Everything ok?” 

“Of cour—“ Anakin paused mid sentence as the mans tired eyes opened. Grey eyes that was strangely identical to Obi Wans peered into his soul as they lay there facing one another.

“Of Course” He smiled and to his surprise he sincerely meant it too, he had only just met this man and already he felt like his life was worth living again.

“Good” The man smiled back at Anakin and lay his hand on the side of his head where his thumb stroked the hair just above his ear. “You make me happy Anakin — I’ve been lost for so long”.

Anakin really didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t confess the exact same feelings to a stranger. A stranger that he feels like he has known and loved for years — Instead he closed his eyes and placed his hand softly on top of the mans. 

The aroma of Tobacco and Cherry eventually drifted away and a loud screech battered Anakins eardrums, his eyes shot open and he was back in the dimly lit room on Coruscant with Padme still sleeping peacefully beside him.

“Anakin — ANAKIN are you there”. His com was beeping furiously with Mace Windu’s voice cracking with anger.

“Yes — I’m here, What’s wrong” Anakin rubbed his eyes harshly as he question windu.

“What’s wrong?” Windu mocked Anakin “Where in the Sith Hells have you been? — I’ve been trying to contact you for the past 10 minutes! Now get your sorry ass to the resolute, we’re leaving.”

“Yes — sorry Master, I’m on my way.”

Anakin wasn’t on his way though, he was sat upright on the edge of the bed thinking about the dream he just had. He knew when he had dreams because they were usually very obscure or nightmarish but this wasn’t a dream — It was a vision… A vision of the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited to hear what you think!
> 
> I'm open to positive and negative feedback, I'm not the best writer and I'm always looking to improve my skills ;)  
> Hoping to have a chapter every week or two and they probably won't be as long as this because honestly this killed me off haha
> 
> (also if you want to picture this mysterious man off of somebody then look at Liam Hemsworth :)


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